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Evolution having troubles...

Michael Behe was vindicated today when his research study How the Human Thumbnail is Irreducibly Complex passed peer review. "I always knew I would find a way to prove my hypothesis," Behe told New York Times journalists. "I spent so many years focusing on the bacterial flagellum and blood clotting systems that I forgot about the much simpler yet far more telling mechanism that was in plain sight all along."

Richard Dawkins, one of the primary proponents of Evolutionary Theory, was humble in defeat. "Ultimately I am grateful to Behe for what he has done," he commented somberly. "It is truly incredible that he has managed to single-handedly disprove over 150 years of scientific research. I am obviously remiss as to what I should do next, but I am happy to be free of a life-long delusion. I suppose now it is time for me to adopt the mantel of Intelligent Design Theory, and promote the truth as I have always tried to do."

While biologists around the globe are left looking for a new direction today, others celebrate. Actor Kirk Cameron and his life partner Ray Comfort have already begun a fund to research the new prevailing Theory of Intelligent Design, and aim to prove that the god of Abraham, Yahweh, is said designer. "The world is headed to a brighter, happier place now," Cameron beamed. "Once we have the final proof of God, we will enter into a new age of enlightenment."

Cameron's predictions, it seems, are already coming true. Following the announcement of the defeat of Evolutionary Theory, local churches were flooded with so many converts church leaders hardly knew what to do with them all. Former violent gang members are now volunteering for community service in record numbers, abortion clinics have closed their doors forever, prominent members of the gay and lesbian movement have begun speaking out against the immoral lifestyle, and Fox News has been propelled to the forefront of journalistic excellence.

Michael Behe's study, which some are already calling the most important study of our age, will be published in the next edition of Nature.

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Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
kerryfraserhair
Apr. 1st, 2009 08:14 pm (UTC)
Thank GOD it is April Fool's Day.
beagleace
Apr. 1st, 2009 09:05 pm (UTC)
I can't see the video you posted (videos are blocked by my IT dept), but all I can say is:

It had BETTER freaking say "April Fools" somewhere.

bloodlilie
Apr. 1st, 2009 10:15 pm (UTC)
i'm sorry. i'm laughing too hard to come up with a response.

damn dirty apes.
francethmanor
Apr. 1st, 2009 11:22 pm (UTC)
I have to say, I've been suspicious since I woke up this morning, and Frank Deford's NPR story was the only thing that ALMOST got me. I do, however, feel a little foolish for saving this post until I was out of work and could devote some attention to it. LOL

is there a reason Kirk's comment is the only one screened? I'm unscreening it.
johnny101
Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:12 pm (UTC)
i just didn't want the first comment to the whistleblower on it.
kerryfraserhair
Apr. 2nd, 2009 02:50 pm (UTC)
"It is truly incredible that he has managed to single-handedly disprove over 150 years of scientific research. I am obviously remiss as to what I should do next, but I am happy to be free of a life-long delusion. I suppose now it is time for me to adopt the mantel of Intelligent Design Theory, and promote the truth as I have always tried to do."

Dude, if anyone thinks that quote came out of Richard Dawkins mouth... then you might want to change the name of the group to the daft_brigade.

Just sayin.
johnny101
Apr. 2nd, 2009 05:33 pm (UTC)
you just wont let us have any fun at all will you? :/
(Deleted comment)
johnny101
Apr. 2nd, 2009 05:34 pm (UTC)
i hope that boil turned to laughter. :)
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )